Emotional illiterates

* It feels like baby season. My sister and some of my friends are now trying to figure out this "being a parent" thing. On the job training seems to be standard. The idea of having a "baby-jenny" in the future is quite amusing, even if I am not 100% convinced.

* There is no way to achieve anything perfect: not a relationship, not an engineering design, not a musical composition. It's a good idea to learn how to find middle ground. Too much of anything can be an overload and override the few good things it has. Too little of anything and it won't make much of a difference. The science of compromise.

Novella Synergy

* Whenever I write down my essays I tend to look back into the depths of my past. Can't write much about the future because it is.... well, unwritten. But at least I want to believe that I am actively shaping my own path, and that the future is whatever I want to achieve. Without goals life is pointless.

* Professor Davis played Mozart in every single lecture. His classes always demanded a lot of attention, but even if the topics were somewhat dry and hard to understand, the music in the background provided us with a soothing relaxing vibe.

Accountability and Remorse

* In 1994 the first edition of pc gamer magazine came with a floppy disk and some shareware game.. I fondly remember 'cannon fodder'. My girlfriend of those days took me to a swimming pool and we spent all afternoon there. Thoughts of a baby crossed our minds. A CD of Afghan Wigs was playing in repeat. And the baby went straight to heaven.

* The other day I found on a fortune cookie something very clever: "a half-truth is a full lie"

Amor Amarillo

It was not totally unexpected when I got a call from my sister to tell me that our grandma had died. And a week after grandma's departure, my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. In accounting terms, the account of life and death was balanced. In food terms, sweet and sour go together. In computer terms.... zeros and ones, that's all there is.

Unknown Pleasures

* In the middle of the movie the lsd kicked in, and because it was her first time all of the sudden she grabbed his hand so tight that blood stopped getting to the tips of his fingers. After they left the theater, they sat next to a fountain and spend some undetermined amount of time looking at the rocky bottom of the fountain while the reflected light played visual tricks. Wandering the streets was different. They ran into some friends and talked about nothing with them. Then kept on walking, thinking a millions things per second. And they knew that this was their last night together. Their long distance relationship was broken, not even a wonderful night could mend it. Their hope to be together was no more. But they kept their hands together until dawn, and then went to the park to walk her dogs.

* "Someone shot nostalgia in the back, someone shot our innocence" sang Peter Murphy.

Det Sjunde Inseglet

* It's like 3am and can't sleep. So quiet. It's snowing outside. What a weird dream I've just had. Need to write it down before I forget it. But first let's have some water. The snow storm is so relaxing to look at. Oh dear, what was that dream about?

* The knight returned from the crusades and on his way home, he bargains his life over a chess match with Death. In the end the Knight learns that Death knows nothing. It has no answers. Nor new questions. And Death always wins at last. Before that, we better play wisely. (inspired by Ingmar Bergman and his Seventh Seal)

* So what is this magazine about? Is this like a lesbian magazine? "No, it's not lesbian, it's feminist" ... I didn't know you were a lesbian, wait until I tell the guys I married a lesbian "yeah, right... they will tell you 'dude, that's so hot'...."

Polar Star

Music video by Tetonica Castro - tetonica.com

Papa Noel is Not Real

For a while now I've been experiencing a pinch nerve in my upper back and a reflected numbness in my right hand fingers. The intensity of the pain goes up and down but never stops. Sleeping is quite a nightmare, not being able to find a pain free posture in bed. At work the tension is reflected by my stone cold short answers and mean attitude. It's hard to focus to do anything at all when the only thing always present is the weird feeling of a monkey constantly back-stabbing me with an ice pick. Can anybody live with constant pain? It's possible.... at least with a little help from hard-core pills.

Superhero Warehouse

Around 10 years ago I had a small cactus plant. I named it Renato. It used to bend a bit towards the sun, so every other day I twisted its pot and the cycle was repeated: bending a bit looking for the sun. Back in those days I lived with Ramona (my dog) and Renato (my cactus). They still live inside my heart.

Renato Cactus

Sometimes I am an arrogant prick. It’s so easy to hurt others without noticing. Words can inflict bruises and burns that take time to heal. I am not proud of those moments when I speak out loud unfair judgements. Just like the uptight jerks that I dislike, sometimes I am one of them. And it’s difficult to take it back after the damage is done. Please forgive me.

Stellar Nursery

We said good bye to the East Village and moved to Brooklyn. After months of preparation, we finalized the purchase of a small apartment between Prospect Park and Greenwood Cemetery.

I spent seven years living in Manhattan. Can’t say I miss it. Home is where the heart is, and now my heart is with Brooklyn.

I want to ride my bike-cycle......

Chapel Hill - Topsail

Waking up and it’s barely 7am. Heading out right away for a long walk on the beach while the sun is still gentle. Trying to throw back into the sea some Jellyfish stuck on the sand. Observing these abandoned beach houses, and wondering the variety of ghost stories they may have. But it feels sad to think nobody lives there anymore. Slowly walking further up until the tip of the island. Miles and miles away from routine in the city. How long has it been now? Five years. And I love her every day more. It will be interesting when we hit our 90s.....