During my red-eye flight to Bogota instead of trying to sleep I ended up watching movies. Walked again old familiar streets, visited the italian bakery in La Candelaria, shared take out food with my sister and oldest friend, danced to a Depeche Mode song, watched a very long but visually stunning movie and drank good Colombian coffee. Finally I took a plane to Cali to experience warm weather, the company of ancient friends and family. After so many years away it feels good to visit where everything started: the first kiss, lovers, legendary girlfriends and friends, intellectual curiosity for music and films, the earliest lines of computer code…
The night of the hurricane I was home watching movies with my cat. As the curious idiot that sometimes I am, in the middle of it all I started a short walk around the block but the winds were scary enough that I turned around rather quick. From the balcony I did stare at the cloudy sky, the desolated streets, felt the wind hitting hard. It was a nightmare, a disaster, a real tragedy for thousands of people that lost a love one, lost their houses, ended up without gas or electricity, without heat or drinking water, a whole public transportation system frozen or crippled, the life of thousands of people disrupted without mercy. Mother nature can be such a bitch. Global warming seems to be kind of real.
Weather forecasts and the news have heavily announced a scary storm coming this way. Glad I made it back to the city on time, after being away for a long weekend of live music and wandering walks. It was refreshing to be exposed to performers I’ve never heard before. In particular I liked Buke & Gase (formerly Buke & Gass) and ExitMusic. There was also an electronic music pioneer called Morton Subotnic who blasted a wall of random analog sounds in tight rhythm patterns accompanied by psychedelic visuals. The math rock jazz duo Ahleuchatistas blew me away. Besides some other music acts and some excellent discussion panels, I enjoyed walking around. Took me a while but I manged to reach another small town where the yellow leaves of fall were specially magical. The last performance I attended was Orbital, a legit 90’s flashback. I’m dead tired. So much dancing, wandering walks and chicken biscuits… now a storm is coming. It feels good to be back home.
So I ended up down the rabbit hole to discover that wonderland is a construct of my mind. No such thing as absolutes, no such thing as happiness, only happy moments and whatever is in between. Life itself has too many colors, and even if we try to measure and be deterministic about it, I rather live as it goes, meeting new challenges and goals, only to regret the things I never tried, because whenever there’s failure there is also a lesson, and whenever something good happens there’s a memory worth remembering.
Had to change the sole of my boots as they got pierced with holes because of my endless walks around the city. Unusual movies displayed at a fine establishment create motive for random conversations with strangers I would not meet ever again. Even if I come back some other time, the faces would be different, the movies weirder and the bartenders older. Conversations that turn into dancing, exchange of saliva, conversations that become never ending walks that only the devil knows where it all ends. Somehow I enjoy all the scars in my arms after playing with my cat…
Summer rain has been falling hard all over the city. Recently I felt that I’m 10 years back in time. Things may not be identical but the feeling is pretty much the same. In a world that is hyper-connected I want to simply be disconnected from it all. A life without facebook is so much better and real. Wandering the streets endlessly. Few interactions with strangers or with regular faces that sometimes appear and then vanish back into their worlds. Midnight movies from the 80’s at the cinema. Taking long baths while my cat cries out for attention. Going day by day like the perfect hermit, isolated by choice, lost, broken, but so alive.
hijuepanchica…. so that’s how it works? geez, it felt like jumping from a stratospheric balloon several thousand feet above ground and free falling for days. chain smoking like a broken engine and drinking like a bottomless pit, blacking out, forgetting how the fuck i got home. then i hit the ground. a crater the size of wimbledon stadium. emerge, somehow feeling lightweight and stress free. accepting loss and letting go. now i am enjoying a peace of mind that i haven’t experienced in such a long time. solitude, just the company of my cat. meeting new faces and some new music. wandering the nights sober and smoke free. it’s an outer body experience when everybody around you is drunk out of their minds….
* It’s so hot right now. My cat is sleeping. She excels at sleeping and cuddling. Earlier today I went for a walk but it was rather uncomfortable because of the heat and humidity. Yesterday was nicer. The flea market was happening and couldn’t resist having some good food while being there. This hangover feels that is the outcome of a full week of little sleep staying up late. Dancing is one of the things that I enjoy the most. Last friday we danced a bit and made plans to go salsa dancing, maybe going to that famous club called “copacabana”. Never mind that. We could dance anywhere. It’s so fucking hot. Think I’m gonna take a shower….
* Recently I saw again “The Lost Boys”. I fondly remember that film from when I was in high school. After so many years I didn’t recall the soundtrack… it has a tune that is haunting me now. Reminds me of a song from the movie “Hardware” that also haunted me for the longest time.
Some water got into my right ear. Last night we had peruvian sea food. The cat found a spot to lay between us. Ashtray smell next to our bed. Watching the end of a british drama. Snacks in the middle of the night. Bubble bath and a massage. The sweet taste of her skin. Still have water in my right ear.
In ancient times the idea that our world was the center of universe was accepted as the only truth. We now understand that our sun just happens to be the closest star and that our planet, among other celestial objects, spins around the sun. There are far more stars and planets in the universe that we can possibly count. Is fascinating to see just how the scale of the cosmos really is. And all our human drama, concepts of gods, good and evil, love and hate… all are human constructs that only have relevance to ourselves. But none of our humanity has place beyond our planet. And that’s a good reason to value it more. To enjoy more of life. Because life and even our existence as living souls, is the exception, not the norm of what exists in the universe.